To 19o Κεφάλαιο...!

Part 19

I remembered everything, every tiny detail of my life before Alicia and Steve welcome me in their family. I saw mom and dad, how mom died and what my father became after her death. I dreamed my first day in the junior high school of San Jose. I remembered how I met the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Daryl was the same and totally different simultaneously. He was wilder and I gotta say, sexy. I fell for him the very first moment I met his eyes and he was always staring at me when we were in the same room. I didn't want to fall for the new and kind of scary guy and I tried to avoid him, but he was there, everywhere I was. Then one day he came, introduced himself and asked me out. I denied of course but he continued asking me for a date, till one day I said yes. I felt again my heartbeat beating so fast that I thought I would die from happiness and relief that I- finally- did what I wanted to do. I remembered our first kiss and our second and third... I remembered how our life in school was and how he told me his secret. I was so scared and I felt so safe with him at the same time. I remembered how furious he was when he found out that my father was still beating me. I hadn't told him because I knew his uncontrollable character, especially when someone he loved was suffering and I was the one he loved. He tried to keep me at bay when he realized that his feelings were becoming stronger. I didn't want to ask him to be with him so I tried to move on. I dated and partied with some boys. He had a long time to appear in school or in my room, so I thought he had left the town. Then, one day- or to be exact one night - without any warning he came to me and told me not to leave him. I knew he tried very hard to make himself to confess something like that. Of course I didn't want to leave him, too, so we were together again, until he killed my dad and I begged him to make me forget. I wanted to forget about our life, the pain he usually caused me and the fact that I lost my only family from him. And despite his sorrow, he did it and he made me come here and start a new life.

“Linda? Linda? Can you hear me?” I heard Brandon's voice calling me. He sounded worried... why would he worry about me? I managed to say; “Brandon?”

“Yeah Linda?” I could recognize his relief.

“Did I faint?” it was the most irrelevant question I could have made but I how I was looking inside his eyes and now I was on my bed.

“I don't really know. You suddenly fell down, thank God to your bed, and no matter what I did to wake you up, you didn't respond. Well, till now.”

“Why did you bring back my memories? You know it was my choice to forget”. I was kind of angry he made me remember again. He brought my pain back again, with my memories. Tears fell from my eyes. Pain, just pain. And something else, love. His name, his eyes, his lips... I couldn't get them out of my mind. Everything that I have felt before came now and tormented me.

“I knew it, but I didn't want him to hide things from you and I've been tired watching you cry because you can't decode his erratic behavior. And all these because you couldn't recall your memories.” I could understand that he strongly believed what he said. I couldn't tell why he cared so much about it, but he did. Like any vampire had rational thoughts.

“Okay I'll say that I appreciate what you did for me, but now I want you to leave my room and don't do that again. Am I clear? I have enough vampires’ problems”. He left before I had finished what I had to tell him. I was tired of vampires and their irrational acts. I decided to solve the problem with one I knew well. He would be awake. I needed to face him firstly, before I realize my plan. It was a hastily made one but the better for me! That's what I wanted it to be, the best, but it wasn't. I was scared of the moment that I was gonna face him. I was scared of my emotions. Don't let it get into you, smooth things over!

I wore my sweater, the first jeans I grabbed from the wardrobe and a pair of boots. I took my coat from the living room as I was running out of the house. I closed carefully the door and got into my car.

I reached his house in 20 minutes. I was determined to speak to him and leave, but now that I was outside his door I wanted to hear his side of the story. I knocked the door- very slightly- but as I expected he came in a second. It was the first time I got him by surprise; he usually did this to me. He froze in the door.

“Can I come in?” I asked hesitating. “I have something to discuss with you”. My voice was barely a whisper.

“Of course” he said hesitantly and moved aside.

“I know, I mean I remember everything”

It was weird watching him copying what I told him. The only thing he asked was; “how?”

“Brandon compelled me. Anyway that doesn't matter to me” I said and continued, “What I want to know is why you did all these. Why did you come back? ” These questions were torturing me all the time.

“You say you remember. Then you know why I returned. I did it for the same reason I did it before.” He was hurt. I didn't let myself feel sorry for him. If I did, it would be impossible to leave him. A part of me wished I could forget again but...

“Do you really want me to believe that you did it because you want a second chance with me?” It was hard to believe that he wanted me the first time. A second chance seemed pretty unbelievable. I was still a random human who had many shortcomings... So would he be interested in me, again?

“I came here 'cause I thought I could give us a second chance. I changed for you and I came back only because I knew I wasn't that hazardous anymore. I can control myself. And I believed that our love...” he stopped with a sigh “it doesn't matter, not now”. He was paining, but I could see his refusal to try more. He would leave, like the last time.

“You're right. It doesn't matter. You decided to stay back and not do anything to win me. You think I don't deserve you, but you never tried. You always run. Now I get it, you don't love me and that's why I don't deserve you”. I was yelling. He was giving up on us, for a million times. I was tired of this situation. I had trusted him and what I thought he was feeling. My chest was aching from the thought of the loss.

I turned to leave, but he was faster and angry. He was standing in front of me without doing anything. I stepped to reach the door. I felt his hands on my face and a minute later I was kissing him. That was his way to show me what he felt. This was his way to keep me. I could understand how he felt, but a kiss wasn't enough for me... I stepped back and finished the kiss. I opened the door and I run to my car. I turned the engine on and started driving...

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